I've had a really interesting week...
Watching one of my sweet wonderful novice girls go through the experience of a c-section to have her first litter, and then the intense pleasure of watching her awaken, realize that the huge lump that had been inside her tummy for so many weeks was now outside her tummy and attached to her in various places. One cannot help but smile watching newborns blossom, learn to seek out the warmest areas of the box, and then the very next day..begin the Newf tradition of AVOIDING that spot once they have begun to regulate their body temperature better. And always..that nimbus of light over their sleek little heads..could it be a halo? I do know there is nothing better than sitting on the floor of the whelping box and seeing the bond develop between her and her offspring. It just never gets old, you know?
Some things, however, do get old..and they get old really really fast. One of the things that is definitely past expiry date is the smear campaign that's being launched against me by a particular person, so I'm in the process of deciding whether or not to actually publish the crap, laugh and walk away, or take appropriate action. A few key points I DO need to make first are coming to mind:
1. Smearing me won't change the pedigrees of anyone's dogs. They are what they are. Get over it, grow up, and own it. It's only a big deal in YOUR mind, and if you hadn't tried to cover that, there would be nothing to lie about now.
2. I don't give a rat's ass where your dogs came from, as long as they are well cared for, which they are. I suspect most people agree with me on that.
3. Screenshots are a wonderful thing, and the more you have saved of them, the easier it is to prove what was said - even if you went back and changed it later. You really CAN'T change the original lie! That's why it's always best to be honest..then you don't have to remember what you said, or spend time going back in your pages to alter things. Sadly, most people remember anyway.
4. I am an avid fan of screen shots, as it takes ALL the mud out of the water at times, and is fabulous for jogging people's memories. I keep PILES of things when I see muddy water. Just for fun. And I'm quick. I generally do it before the shit hits the fan.
5. You have to be VERY careful who you slander me to, because some of them are actually forwarding it to me. (Sorry sweetie..just a fact of life.)
6. Putting up a lot of trees will not hide the forest. Nobody is fooled, and you end up looking like an ass.
7. If you live in a glass house..don't throw stones. In other words, if you chose to hand out advice on message boards like Moses with the stone tablets, make SURE you are following your own advice. Better yet, just don't be catty and bitchy in the first place, cuz it just makes you look bad to the normal people that read it. They actually discuss it and say EWWWW. Then they get their back up and start checking on you, not a good thing unless your qualifications and experience actually justify your attitude. Try playing nice.
8. A registered kennel is legally a business, so interference with that can have some interesting legal ramifications. (Yes, I've checked that out already.)
9. Because this is MY blog I can (and WILL) happily publish a lot of things if forced to defend myself further. And the more places I post a link to the blog, the more people will read it! It's relatively simple to mask identities to avoid breaking laws without losing the meaning and content, so keep that in mind before you continue with the "poisoning the well" techniques you are employing in a desperate attempt to cover your lies.
The fabric you have woven with the lying is VERY thin. The holes are very obvious, and it's super easy to point them out. For you and your accomplice in this. So do be more careful in the future. You may even chose to take the high road and choose honesty!
If you have any questions..you know where to find me! I'll be in the whelping box, hugging puppies.
It's a big bad world!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Where have all the mentors gone?
I am not a young person anymore. Yes, that's a scary admission..but 'tis, none the less, true. I remember, quite a few years ago, looking back and realizing that half of my life head been spent actively involved in the raising, rearing, training and loving of Newfoundland dogs. And as I said..that was quite a few years ago! So now, with much more than half of my life in that activity...the age shows :-) And perhaps more important than just the number of years I have invested comes the math factor. In the last 30 years, I did not spend my time in the tranquil position of having one or two dogs at a time, the vast majority of that time was spent with averages ranging from 4 to a dozen. Current rating - 9. That's a lot of "dog years"!! So many personalities, so much to learn about! No wonder time flies when you are fixing gyproc and filling in holes in the yard!
There was a time in there, in the late 90's, when my life turned upside down for a few years, and while the dogs were a constant, my dog activities and associations dwindled for a few years. When my life stabilized again, the burning desire to be involved with people who shared my passion for the breed came back with a vengeance, and, once again...I was activated. But somewhere in there the world had changed. I didn't know if it was me, or everyone around me. Mentors were suddenly much harder to find and for the most part, many of them were cynical. People I had worked side by side with in educational capacities were suddenly not interested in doing that anymore. When I would question them..they would say...I just don't have time to piss around with it, and they don't listen anyway. I guess they will just have to take their lumps like we did.
I was shocked. It seemed to me like they were abandoning ship. Didn't they CARE? Why were they letting people with Newf puppies essentially sink or swim? This did not make sense to me, and I was thoroughly disillusioned. My own "go to" mentor was still intact and there for ME...and that was a constant...but then, when I thought about it..I still LISTENED to every word she said, and remembered that no matter how long I had been in this breed, she will ALWAYS have more experience than I do, simply because she started almost 20 years before I did, and she will always have, essentially, at least a hundred dog years more experience than I do! Slowly, my power of observation came into focus. Mentors haven't changed...the people who are crying that there are no mentors have changed.
The arrival of the information highway, the internet...has changed the face of mentoring. And, sadly, I'm not sure it's for the better. I'm not sure, I should say..that it's "always" better. Sometimes, it's helpful. Other times, it's downright harmful.
There was a time when someone would come to you, ask for guidance, and you would give it. Because it was time honored and tested, it would, most of the time, work, and the person would be able to carry on and succeed. The confusion factor was not there. A path would be selected for the issue..followed, and the results would be assessed. If success did not follow within a reasonable amount of time, the path would then be altered. But..there was a plan in place, because you had a mentor who was constant and who would willingly work with you until you had resolved the issue. That just does not happen anymore. Does that mean the mentoring isn't there, or does it actually mean that the listening factor went out the window? Why would I do what my mentor is telling me..when I can go to a discussion board and ask 100 people and find 100 different answers, and..one of them..might be what I want to hear? That I don't have to work at this, and there is an easy way to do it? Or that there is an "easy button" of some sort that will just fix this? Or that it's the DOG'S fault and it's just a screwed up dog? Interestingly, people seem QUITE willing to turf the advice of their vet, but hang on tight to advice that is offered by someone who may in actual fact have even less experience than they do...they just don't know that, because it came from the internet, and as the saying goes, everyone is so much "cooler" online!!
I recently experienced this with someone whom I had spent a good amount of time and energy. We discussed, we planned, we put a routine in place. For a specified amount of time..we would do A, B and C...and see if that worked. A short amount of time passed. A,B, and C was just not cutting it. Instead of just turfing the plan completely...I asked for details of the "failure". I was told..."Well, I did A, B and C just like you said...but on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I threw in R, and nothing is working."
"R?" Where did R come from?
"I asked on a discussion board and someone said that R works REALLY REALLY well! So, I tried R in conjunction. But none of them work."
I wanted to hang up the phone. I really considered it. The words..."They don't listen anyway so they will just have to take their lumps like we did" was suddenly this HUGE echo coming off the walls and smacking me. All of a sudden, I UNDERSTOOD. Was there any point in explaining that everything you taught/did on the days you followed ABC was totally tossed on the days that you threw in R? That it resulted in mass confusion for the dog and set you back to square one? Or would that just result in another trip to the discussion board? Would hanging up the phone mean the discussion board would have me lumped in as one of the breeders who are accused of "not giving a damn once a pup is sold?" Scarier yet...I began to realize that if it were not for the fact that there was an innocent, confused pup involved, I really DIDN'T give a damn anymore! As is often the case, this wasn't even one of MY pups! What exactly is my obligation on "mentoring"?
Discussion boards can be wonderful things. I actually go to them and read, because really, you never stop learning, and it's always possible that something new and exciting will appear that will alter the way I do things. There are some people on there who have YEARS on me in the experience department, and occasionally...they have a gem I grab and treasure. It does not happen often, but I have, over the years, gleaned some new methods and information that were worth trying. Sometimes..they are a bomb. But occasionally, I've learned something. So I don't just abandon it, but I do have my filters on high when I am reading so that common sense is never pitched out the window. I've also learned to take into consideration exactly where the information comes from, and whether or not the person offering the advice REALLY has the experience and knowledge to be mentoring in the first place. All too often, they really don't, and they are flushing with the overnight success syndrome...."I've raised a couple of dogs that didn't kill me..so I must know what I'm doing!". And really, obviously..they DID. With THOSE two dogs. The next one, however, may be the hound from HELL, and that's where the learning begins! ( My first Newf was a platinum angel...she never got in any trouble and was fully trained by about 16 weeks..for virtually everything. I mistakenly thought that was a breed attribute. The second one, however, began my education. In retrospect, had I known what was coming...I would have named her Rude Awakening!) And, guilty as charged...had anyone asked me about training when I had my stellar little angel in tow..I would have handed them the easy methods I had used, and expected it to work for them the way it had worked for me! Jodi, however, gave me the smack in the forehead that I needed :-)
I'm not saying that discussion boards are all bad. But I AM defending the breeders/experienced people out there who are being accused of refusing to be mentors. I AM understanding the cynicism that drives their decision to NOT waste their time and energy just to deal with the frustration of being ignored. And, once again, I find myself deferring to the wise words of my own mentor..."Tell them how to do it right. Some will listen. Some just won't. Sometimes you can fix stupid, but only if it's not really stupid."
Wise words should never be forgotten!
There was a time in there, in the late 90's, when my life turned upside down for a few years, and while the dogs were a constant, my dog activities and associations dwindled for a few years. When my life stabilized again, the burning desire to be involved with people who shared my passion for the breed came back with a vengeance, and, once again...I was activated. But somewhere in there the world had changed. I didn't know if it was me, or everyone around me. Mentors were suddenly much harder to find and for the most part, many of them were cynical. People I had worked side by side with in educational capacities were suddenly not interested in doing that anymore. When I would question them..they would say...I just don't have time to piss around with it, and they don't listen anyway. I guess they will just have to take their lumps like we did.
I was shocked. It seemed to me like they were abandoning ship. Didn't they CARE? Why were they letting people with Newf puppies essentially sink or swim? This did not make sense to me, and I was thoroughly disillusioned. My own "go to" mentor was still intact and there for ME...and that was a constant...but then, when I thought about it..I still LISTENED to every word she said, and remembered that no matter how long I had been in this breed, she will ALWAYS have more experience than I do, simply because she started almost 20 years before I did, and she will always have, essentially, at least a hundred dog years more experience than I do! Slowly, my power of observation came into focus. Mentors haven't changed...the people who are crying that there are no mentors have changed.
The arrival of the information highway, the internet...has changed the face of mentoring. And, sadly, I'm not sure it's for the better. I'm not sure, I should say..that it's "always" better. Sometimes, it's helpful. Other times, it's downright harmful.
There was a time when someone would come to you, ask for guidance, and you would give it. Because it was time honored and tested, it would, most of the time, work, and the person would be able to carry on and succeed. The confusion factor was not there. A path would be selected for the issue..followed, and the results would be assessed. If success did not follow within a reasonable amount of time, the path would then be altered. But..there was a plan in place, because you had a mentor who was constant and who would willingly work with you until you had resolved the issue. That just does not happen anymore. Does that mean the mentoring isn't there, or does it actually mean that the listening factor went out the window? Why would I do what my mentor is telling me..when I can go to a discussion board and ask 100 people and find 100 different answers, and..one of them..might be what I want to hear? That I don't have to work at this, and there is an easy way to do it? Or that there is an "easy button" of some sort that will just fix this? Or that it's the DOG'S fault and it's just a screwed up dog? Interestingly, people seem QUITE willing to turf the advice of their vet, but hang on tight to advice that is offered by someone who may in actual fact have even less experience than they do...they just don't know that, because it came from the internet, and as the saying goes, everyone is so much "cooler" online!!
I recently experienced this with someone whom I had spent a good amount of time and energy. We discussed, we planned, we put a routine in place. For a specified amount of time..we would do A, B and C...and see if that worked. A short amount of time passed. A,B, and C was just not cutting it. Instead of just turfing the plan completely...I asked for details of the "failure". I was told..."Well, I did A, B and C just like you said...but on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I threw in R, and nothing is working."
"R?" Where did R come from?
"I asked on a discussion board and someone said that R works REALLY REALLY well! So, I tried R in conjunction. But none of them work."
I wanted to hang up the phone. I really considered it. The words..."They don't listen anyway so they will just have to take their lumps like we did" was suddenly this HUGE echo coming off the walls and smacking me. All of a sudden, I UNDERSTOOD. Was there any point in explaining that everything you taught/did on the days you followed ABC was totally tossed on the days that you threw in R? That it resulted in mass confusion for the dog and set you back to square one? Or would that just result in another trip to the discussion board? Would hanging up the phone mean the discussion board would have me lumped in as one of the breeders who are accused of "not giving a damn once a pup is sold?" Scarier yet...I began to realize that if it were not for the fact that there was an innocent, confused pup involved, I really DIDN'T give a damn anymore! As is often the case, this wasn't even one of MY pups! What exactly is my obligation on "mentoring"?
Discussion boards can be wonderful things. I actually go to them and read, because really, you never stop learning, and it's always possible that something new and exciting will appear that will alter the way I do things. There are some people on there who have YEARS on me in the experience department, and occasionally...they have a gem I grab and treasure. It does not happen often, but I have, over the years, gleaned some new methods and information that were worth trying. Sometimes..they are a bomb. But occasionally, I've learned something. So I don't just abandon it, but I do have my filters on high when I am reading so that common sense is never pitched out the window. I've also learned to take into consideration exactly where the information comes from, and whether or not the person offering the advice REALLY has the experience and knowledge to be mentoring in the first place. All too often, they really don't, and they are flushing with the overnight success syndrome...."I've raised a couple of dogs that didn't kill me..so I must know what I'm doing!". And really, obviously..they DID. With THOSE two dogs. The next one, however, may be the hound from HELL, and that's where the learning begins! ( My first Newf was a platinum angel...she never got in any trouble and was fully trained by about 16 weeks..for virtually everything. I mistakenly thought that was a breed attribute. The second one, however, began my education. In retrospect, had I known what was coming...I would have named her Rude Awakening!) And, guilty as charged...had anyone asked me about training when I had my stellar little angel in tow..I would have handed them the easy methods I had used, and expected it to work for them the way it had worked for me! Jodi, however, gave me the smack in the forehead that I needed :-)
I'm not saying that discussion boards are all bad. But I AM defending the breeders/experienced people out there who are being accused of refusing to be mentors. I AM understanding the cynicism that drives their decision to NOT waste their time and energy just to deal with the frustration of being ignored. And, once again, I find myself deferring to the wise words of my own mentor..."Tell them how to do it right. Some will listen. Some just won't. Sometimes you can fix stupid, but only if it's not really stupid."
Wise words should never be forgotten!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Word of the Day
Today..out of my deep respect for the people who pick my arse about stupid things that they know almost nothing about..
I have coined the new term....
Twiticism.
By definition..being criticized by a twit that knows less than they think they do.
You can have twitical acclaim, you can speak twitically, you can, in fact..use this word in a plethora of situations.
And don't we always need a new, and less insulting word than IDIOT?
I have coined the new term....
Twiticism.
By definition..being criticized by a twit that knows less than they think they do.
You can have twitical acclaim, you can speak twitically, you can, in fact..use this word in a plethora of situations.
And don't we always need a new, and less insulting word than IDIOT?
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